The one who did not leave...

By Aditi Deshpande, 19

“Leave if you want to, I know everybody leaves me,” the thirteen-year-old me had said after stepping out of the bus to the girl who sat beside me during the ride back home from school. 

The subtle hint of a smile that stayed on her lips, most times, faded. 

“Such bad choices of words, Aditi,” I said to myself and bit my tongue. 

I quietly walked back home, in despondence knowing I lost a person even before I could get her. 

The next day, she gets on the bus and notices the seat beside me vacant. I pretended to look out of the window, in an attempt to avoid the embarrassment of seeing her pass by my seat and choose another one for herself.  

“Hii!” She chirped as she put down her backpack and sat next to me. 

I was nonplussed. Why did she choose to sit here when there was a line up of vacant seats at the back of the bus?

“You know what happened today….” She merrily went about talking about the things normally as if yesterday did not happen, as if it was erased from the face of the earth. 

I, too, talked to her like nothing happened. 

As usual, the bus dropped us at the Cool Point. We got to our favorite spot: under the shade of the humongous Peepal tree, the place that was solely reserved for us. We talked a little more and then an unseen seriousness showed up on her face. 

“I couldn’t sleep yesterday. Your words kept playing and replaying in my head.” Her eyes were glittering with the tear droplets that welled in her eyes. “Not everybody leaves, Aadu,” she said in her sweetest voice. 

Seeing her worry in my worries hit me differently. 

 

Not everybody leaves. 

After all these years, I still do not know the verity of that sentence but what I know is, she stayed. She did not leave. 

  

She loved me equally on my bad days. 

She got excited in my happiness and sad in my worries. 

She held my hand at all times.  

I realised these during the lockdown.

And, I can trade my heart just to see that one sparkling smile.