Crucial Yet Neglected Age



Zainab vishiwala





9th January 2020
           My first day of fieldwork in the rehabilitation centre which is also an old age home for seniors citizens. We were 3 students who have been placed there. My experience on the first day was very emotional. There were residents who were suffering from health problems ( high blood pressure, diabetes) and psychological problems (dementia,  Parkinson, anxiety, Alzheimer's etc.  

          I met a lady who to sits there near the reception area on a sofa. She had a physical injury in her legs and underwent surgery two months later. So she was there to recover. So I went near her and asked: "Can I sit here ? ".  She replied "yes" with a smile on her face and  I  smiled back too, then I took a polite pause for  2 minutes and did a little talk on her likes and dislikes. And when the time passed I felt more close to her. She told the story of her life from the perspective of a mother, a daughter, a sister and a wife. She had sacrificed all her dreams just because she got married at an earlier age and had children too. Well, she is very much intelligent and creative. 

She has learned a fashion designing course and as a result, she does knitting, embroidery designing and some arts & crafts too. Opportunities had knocked on her door. Once she has been offered a job of a craft teacher in an international school but she  refused the offer just to take care of the health & education of her children

              Now the scenario went totally different.  The children failed to see the struggles and sacrifices of their mother. They give excuses so that they can live happily with their family leaving their parent in an old-age home. But yeah from the caregiver's perspective they also have stress in the family and they have to look after the children too.  

She recalled about the days when her children were toddlers and shared one of an incident with me. That day She was all alone left with her child and there was a heavy rain outside which resulted in the flood. Her husband was not around. 

She restricted & protected her children from going out due to the floods. " I am here to protect..so don't get scared & worried, close your eyes & go to sleep," she said.  That night she never slept nor blinked her eyes. " I just watched my children sleeping on my lap. That was a terrifying night for me " .said the old lady. She got much emotional while sharing this memory of her children with me as she was already missing her children to the core because she has been left alone in an old age home & away from her family. My heart melted on listening to her story... 

All I want to say to y'all is that even after your marriage you should spend some more time & love parents.  Just don't run & rush towards the money &  success. Just pause and realize that real success is to watch our parents with fruitful smiles. We have to give some more importance to their physical & mental health to keep them happier.

Moral: It's sad that there are high demands for old age homes nowadays. keep this thing in mind, if a person is having physical or mental health problems and you have no time to look after them & so you need to send them to old age, you as an as a family member should talk to them about this and get their acceptance or permission to do this for that person. And kindly never do it without informing them or without their permission as this sheer suddenness may give them mental traumas.
But as a son or daughter, we have a responsibility to look after our parents in our future. Never make them feel lonely and share things with them.
Don't develop a  need to place your parents in an old-age home on account of your own selfish freedom & happiness. Our parents too have emotions. So kindly give your respect & time for it



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Nishant

परखों तो कोई अपना नहीं, समझो तो कोई पराया नहीं

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