It may not be the time or I need that to happen in my very early age. But as I walk my life's roads alone, I feel the urge to hear that my end is near! That crying skis, that drowning thunders with their sharp notes killing every cell of me one by one. He left me as I was never a person to stay. My throat's dryness defines perfectly the screams I made him to be with me, but nothing worked. Every night, at the same time, my mind still remembers him and his last words, "I love someone else and she loves me more than you" I trying to be alive in this world wouldn't work now to carry so much pain, guilt and regrets! Your death would make me shiver and my love for him righteous. Every attack that this life makes on you will no longer bear on me. Either it is poisonous thoughts of mind or it is depressed happenings. You can't see my heart loosen and evaporate these days! Then why just wait to die in the natural circumstances. Let's have it in one go.
These nights gush into me with more negativity and these blank days slowly kill me inside. The day isn't far from being like a dead person alive. That complicated goodbye took all you had ... but still my mouth said, "I'm all right!" And my fingers typed, "I'm all right, wbu?" Deep inside my heart cried, "I'm not" Isn't it enough for you to understand that every time my heart cries for my life to be lived again like my early days, it's committing suicide? I can't see you dying before me to turn into trash and of course my body weakness leads to my mental health being destroyed! Perhaps the things were not so easy for my heart to bear
But once again, breaking your and my awkwardness, the heart shouted not to loose hope! Once again it begged me to be strong as we were together and to face things with the hope that I would shine the same way again and say "Better than yesterday" though his stuff stabbed me so deeply that the wounds would never heal. Maybe even the heart injuries will take a lifetime to be all right again, but whatever it is, hope will never be lost. It is just that if you and I too support it, it will become stronger!
Yours,
Gaurvi (body)